What’s all this hyped-up nonsense about war, conflict, bloodshed? I just walked across the street in Oxford and I wasn’t killed. Didn't even hear a single gunshot. And the talk of the starving billions? I just bought a hearty lunch and washed it down with some clean drinking water, and I didn’t see too many starving people on the High Street - so enough of the sensational talk about famine and poverty. It’s all a terrible hoax, clearly. Damn left-wing crazies.
The same sort of "logic" must apply to climate change - at least, according to Sen. James Inhofe, famed climate change denier, and chairman of the United States Senate Committee on Environment and Public Works. You see, he’s heard a lot of talk about global warming and climate change - but just the other day he managed to debunk the whole spiel. He brought a snowball onto the Senate floor and said, "I ask the chair: do you know what this is? It’s a snowball,” wielding the icy globe in his right hand, before tossing it at a Senate page. This stunt was part of a rambling speech during which, at various points, Inhofe took aim at all sorts of scientific evidence that 2014 was the warmest year on record due to climate change (according to countless scientific organisations, including NASA, it was!). Washington DC was colder than usual, ergo, this cancels out the fact that most of the rest of the world has been unusually toasty of late.
Do we have a snowball’s chance in hell of making real progress on climate change when the head of one of the most powerful government environmental bodies in the world’s only real superpower has his head buried this deep in the sand? Inhofe has built a whole industry around climate change being a hoax, and has spent years denouncing science. For the record, this is the same guy who thinks the 9/11 attacks were a form of divine retribution (for the USA failing to defend Israel), is overtly hostile to LGBT groups, has used taxpayer money for multiple foreign trips on missions he describes as “a Jesus thing,” campaigned for a Senate seat using the phrase “God, guns, and gays”, and who has consistently voted against federal disaster relief.
Next week: Sen. Inhofe disproves gravitation using a helium-filled balloon.
Sen. Jim Inhofe (R-Okla.) has, once and for all, disproven climate change. While "eggheads" at "science laboratories" were busy worrying about how the increase in heat-trapping gases in the atmosphere was leading to a long-term upward shift in temperatures and increased atmospheric moisture, Inhofe happened to notice that it was cold outside. Weirdly cold outside. So cold, in fact, that water falling from the sky had frozen solid.